Sonnensegler.de

Three weeks ago, I thought it would all go wrong. I was sure the thought of the respiratory chain could actually kill me.

Three weeks later, I am asking myself: What would I do without? Not thinking of the respiratory chain can actually kill me. It’s all about time. The right one thrills you. The wrong one kills you. It’s so simple.

Sometimes I just wish I could shut down this part of me which doubts. Sometime I wrote that maybe I am having the wrong thoughts about the right things. This was true-said. I can’t see any positive aspects in doubting. Maybe it’s that old part of me that was raised to save me from danger. This alarm system has gone blind. It’d be better to deactivate it. But how am I doing this?

Boredom is approaching in an obvious way. Today it’s the first day I am having a glance over to both botanical and zoological literature still stowed in my rucksack from day one. My first thought goes ‘You’re allowed to let them rest there’. My second thought gets in like ‘You could start reading them like a novel. No duty.’ Then the first thought adds on ‘This is expert knowledge, how could you possibly imagine it to be read like novels?’ – I’ve begun having monologue conversation about literature. It’s ridiculous. It’s like those days when access to university was far and I was drowning in natural scientists articles. No, actually it’s not. I am a university student right now.

I decided for now that just if I would pick up one book, I should move slowly. 10 pages, not more. I tend to exaggeration. Slow is good. Yes.