Sonnensegler.de

Right now I have 21 tabs opened in Firefox. Can you count yours?

I have plans to redesign my site, I have plans to write a book with short stories, do photography, speak more Spanish, be tidier, be more prepared, I have plans to improve at everything I do, I have plans to reduce my plans (through writing lists with things I actually can achieve in a week), but obviously I never managed to find a way how to do all this for real.

Noise is so ubiquitous these days. I realized it last week when it started to snow in our area and snow is such a beautiful thing to look at and to listen to! I like how snow not only covers every not so beautiful thing with a white, soft layer, sparkling when illuminated, but it also immerses everyday life in some sort of sleeping bag, so when hidden inside all noise from outside is reduced to a minimum, making you feel protected from harm.

It’s the little things, as always.

Of course that’s only my impression. I did a photo tour last week through the snow, walking the meadows near the river Rhine, snow was coming down heavily that day but I was so quiet inside. I can only feel that when I am myself, doing what I love.

Aside from that, there were two things that made my last days.

The first is a talk with one of my favourite teachers at vocational school (I’m not used to that term but my Oxford tells me it’s correct 😉 ). Although he’s quite a bit older than I am, I can talk to him on an equal level. We were talking about programming aka coding websites and related stuff and we agreed on so many things in that department, and on education and that you need the ability to be curious and willing to learn things and to immerse yourself into how-to-books to cross that barrier between a self-taught person who loves media and a professional who actually knows what he or she is doing.

I know that it took my brother about 22 of his 27 years to arrive at that point (being a pro). And he’s good at it.

With education it’s like with snow, once you’re into something, surrounded, you’re totally shielded from this unnerving noise that tries to push you off track.

The talk with my teacher pushed my hopes that one day I would get to that point while realizing that he as a teacher hasn’t gotten there yet and still is so optimistic about things. I know how it is to be underchallenged. For him, it must be a lot harder to lower his level of knowledge to a bunch of students with half of them not even intended to be curious or become immersed in something.

Coming home with a few tips, I finally managed to start reading the programming book for Python which I had dreaded for sooo long – and suddenly I was lost in it.

The other thing that made the last two days was a message from a musician I met on VIRB and who makes beautiful electronic/ambient music that is so perfect for immersing yourself in nothingness and peace of soul. To re-discover his music was such a relieving thing. I should remind myself more often to listen to such music all day. News on the radio confuse me. Actually I listen to a lot of music that troubles me because it reminds me in my everyday life’s problems. Mind-made problems 😉

So what I’ve learned from those two things is easy:

Quiet is good. Sometimes you need someone or something to calm you down. Someone or something unexpected. Like I wrote, surround yourself with positive people. There are not many of them around, and it’ll take you some time to realize who they are.

But when you found them, keep them close and try to learn from them. And surround yourself with things you love, like music, photography, design, even if it confuses you, there will come a time when it all becomes clear, I guess.

When the noise is gone.

And all that’s left is clear white space, and summer in your head, and a smile on your lips and the urge to get up in the mornings and do something you love and be optimistic about it.

I guess from the beginning of my poetic/creative/design-filled life, there has always been this picture of a green meadow on a summer’s day in my head, with music playing soothingly in a distance, but I keep forgetting about it, forgetting how to be.

And I’m grateful for these tiny hints to get me back on track.

Maybe conditions are not perfect right now to walk that path straight, but paying attention to these hints to slip off reality and be optimistic about everything will hopefully get me somewhere.

I don’t know. I seem to be perfectly adjusted to life’s conditions theoretically, but when it comes to action I’m hesitating. Dealing with all that noise isn’t so easy after all. Or maybe I should just accept that inspiration is everywhere, and that I can’t avoid perceiving it.

Anyway, this year I’ll stick to my list and be happy 🙂