Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I’m jaded
I hate itI’m tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get hereSearching all my days just to find you
I’m not sure who I’m looking for
I’ll know it
When I see you
Until then, I’ll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no oneI’m tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get hereI could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no wayYou’ll be so good
You’ll be so good for me
(John Mayer)
Being that implicit puts me in a lousy position but still it feels better this way 😉 To be honest, when I first heard this song’s lines “I could have met you in a sandbox…Could I have missed my chance and watched you walked away?” I got the awful impression that this is true. I watched good guys walk away because my shyness interfered, and of course there were boys in my teen years I would love to see again. But people change, I changed, you lose sight first, then you kind of run into each other but the saying-hallo part comes not so easily anymore. Finally you break tie. Only memories left. I was never comfortable with that.
It’s funny how I always become that way when first sunny days arrive. Like those UV-rays were kicking my hormonal system or so. But at least I have real colour in my face right now. Love it! (Looking forward to that summer!)
I see I can’t run from abusing my website as an online diary (and I have a Moleskine as well!). At least it lets me write in English, the language I seem to never speak originally in my entire life although I’d love to so much. Thinking of a trip to London in summer. It’s not that expensive anymore, I mean flying.
Thursday we went Bowling with some friends, and it was fun except of the part of me throwing zero points all the time. Most of it. I said I hadn’t been Bowling for a long time and proved it in the best possible way. Bowl Number 8 was too tight for my fingers and Number 10 too heavy (if that is possible, forgive me, I have girl’s wrists). We found a 9 in the second hour, and that worked. Of course I was getting better (little) shortly before leaving. I’m going to need practice or stay away. You can really un-fun Bowling by being THAT BAD.
Looking forward to my over-the-pond-shipped CD’s of my new favourite Aussie band “The Hampdens”. They seem to grow more famous since youtube offers a few more live videos. Still I’m trying to figure out the lyrics, for Susannah sings quite – well – accented, albeit not so much slang like other locals do.
Besides that, I’m eating too much lately. Not that I would burst, but it just doesn’t feel right. It’s the cortisone I guess. Good that’s over in accurately 2 weeks. Still I’m crazy about swimming, regularly, it’s just my thing.
I finally finished Judith Hermann’s “Sommerhaus, später” and am now in the middle of “Nichts als Gespenster”. Very excellent stuff I have to say. Catchy.
Okay, so far on the news, I’m going to make myself useful this weekend by helping to renovate at my uncle’s and celebrating afterwards. Even if I pretend not to be, I know I will be done by sunday 😉
I put a few impressions of my last week on Flickr, go have a look if you like to.
April 25th, 2008 
22:43
Hey, John Mayer really rocks. I like his songs a lot.
And i do have to agree as well : I get the feeling too (although i never listened that closely). Almost every time i am confronted with such a situation i am to shy to act. You are not alone 🙂 But well its getting better – at least thats my hope.
The Hampdens sound relaxed and nice 🙂