What is it with me? I wasn’t always easy in making decisions, but this is heavy: Sea biology or Environmental Technics? Stay or leave? Try or give in? Stress or customs? Dream or reality? Grow or watch the world pass by? And which one is which? I hate decisions like such and I will not decide it today. But I have to soon. Hate that.
Why can’t I do both? – It’s due to time. Time’s running. WHY is time running? Should I accept that?
I am freaking out. Still I can say I love nature and the sea and the birds and the fishes and the animals all around the world (except spiders and anything tiny that approaches without your knowledge I admit).
Let’s look closer:
Sea biology: lots of unneeded stuff like maths. Many biological tests with dissection but as well at the laboratory with microscope. As well: Seminars in places where I can’t be myself (which is ill). Watching birds and animals and so on. Writing, lots of writing. Verbal tests. Me being tested: Awful but challenging. Reality: No animals. No sea. No projects unless I’m lucky. How’s reality in real? Gotta find that out instantly.
Applies to Environmental sciences as well. That’s how I will solve this. GREAT. Seems writing hid the answers. Will repeat that, feels good.
May 1st, 2005 
22:57