I truly cannot remember the day I first saw the sea. I should, ’cause I love it. Maybe my mind knew that I will see it for all my life. I never thought of what made me come to it. It was not the beach nor the Aquamarine blue nor the big waves. I believe it was the quiet and the vastness that irradiated. And the piece of the soothing rush of waves that placed itself into my ear. For the first time in my life, I had seen something unratable and unseizable. The knowledge that there is some place on earth where we can forget – and I mean really forget our sorrows made me return. When the day was hard and friends are few, when my body slips from my control and I just stare how things go from me, when I am wishing not being born, I dream of the sea.
The sea shows different pictures: Calm and soothing in the sunset or churned on warm, sunny days, or disturbing and menacing before the storm. Like us. We come to the sea to face our real inner self. So many times we disguise to fit into a norm ignorants built – we need to come down to be ourselves.
I want to thank the sea for being there fo me, for all of us. I admire it and I’m afraid of it both. My life was never spectacular, but I’m allowed to dream of the day I’m standing in front of the shore, feeling happy and sad and relieved and confident. I never was. In few moments I find the strength to feel like that, although it’s nearly impossible. We never lost our ability to dream of better days. This dream might be an illusion, but it keeps us alive. What should we do else?
I miss the sea. I miss the summer days in the sun, I miss the relaxed atmosphere down on the beach. I miss being free. Free from all these strange, self-destroying pictures that make our world collapse from time to time. I miss the wide Wadden Sea with its birds and the setting sun far beyond, throwing the last warm rays onto the wet sand. I miss the darkness standing barefoot in the shallow water, looking up to the perfect, sparkling stars which were always there and will always be, no matter what happens or if we lost or faith. The sea makes me keep the faith. Sometimes the world can be so cruel, and here we are, standing in front of ourselves, not able to go back to normality for there has never been one, drowned and torn we turn our faces to the understanding shore and watch the waves, how they roll across the thousand grains of sand.
Can you feel the perfectness? This is when I’m happy. This is when I found myself, finally.
There have been terms of sadness, up’s and down’s, times of giving up, and I know that this will go on forever, for everyone, and when you lost faith, believe into the power of the sea.
With a little faith you can do anything, no matter how frightening it is, no matter how hard it is and no matter what people think. I try to believe this for it sounds so honest.